The Biggest Mistakes We Make With Parents

Have you ever asked a parent if they learned music growing up? It’s a simple question, but one we often skip. And when we do, we miss a crucial insight: if they didn’t learn music, they likely don’t understand the journey their child is about to begin. They don’t know what it sounds like, feels like, or requires—and that was Anita’s biggest mistake as an early career music teacher..

One of the biggest mistakes we make as music educators is focusing on logistics instead of the learning process. We talk about rehearsal times, concert dates, and equipment—but forget to describe what this actually feels like for a learner. That journey includes the thrill of starting, the frustration of missed notes, the nerves before a performance, and the pride after one. Parents need to know what to expect—and what their child will need emotionally and cognitively at each step.

One brilliant idea I’ve seen is sending parents recordings of beginners—those early squeaks, plunks, and rhythmic stumbles. It helps normalize the sounds they’ll hear at home and builds empathy. We also need to explain the importance of repetition, the challenge of forming practice habits, and how to coach their child through moments of resistance.

Even better? Give parents words to say—those “what to say when…” phrases that help them support, not scold. Because when we bring parents into the process, they become partners—not spectators—in their child’s music education.